Inspirational Messages For LIfe

Hypeless Messages To Show Life Is Not Hopeless

Archive for the ‘All About Attitude’ Category

Why Do We Need to Make People Feel Important?

Two Men Talking Motivation Words to Each Other

 

A few years ago I was on a business course near Southampton. I forget what the subject was but it was held in a hotel. Not somewhere you would necessarily consider a place to receive inspiration messages.

When I first arrived at the venue, I availed myself of the toilet – as one does. In there was a man, cleaning the cubicles. I found myself engaging him in conversation. He seemed a really, honest chap and we had a short but enjoyable interaction. At the end, he said to me ‘you know, not many people take the time to talk to me, I ma only the guy who cleans the toilet, after all.’ I thought for a second and, I don’t know where it came from, I said ’you are more important than you think. If the managing director took a day off, no-one would notice, but, if you didn’t turn up, the toilets would not get cleaned and everyone would notice.’

With that, I left and joined my colleagues. Later, in a break, we were in the corridor and my cleaner friend walked by. He called out ‘hello, Mr. Braithwaite. How is the course going?’

Without thinking, I had made him feel important and that is something so valuable when you deal with people.

Mary Kay Ash always told audiences at her motivational lectures “treat everyone as if they have a sign around their neck that says ‘Make Me Feel Important.’” Many of the massively successful people in life know that treating people in this way will make the other person feel special and very positive towards you.

How do you make someone feel important? Well, the first thing is to concentrate on them. In these days of distracting technology, it is so easy to half listen to someone as you check your phone or iPad. No! I remember successful businessman Jerry Scriven saying, “treat that person as if they are the only person in the room.” Concentrate on what they are saying, sympathetically react to their words, show a genuine interest and ask questions.

Remember someone’s name. It is said the most beautiful words someone can hear is their own name. If you are taking about someone the other side of the room from them, they will not hear what you say until you mention their name. Show that they are important enough for you to remember their name correctly, ask their name and repeat it back to them during the conversation to embed it in your mind.

Never be judgmental. They may be speaking words of motivation, or they may be saying something not so palatable, but always give them the benefit of the doubt. Your own opinions may not be totally correct and you will learn something from everyone with who you have a conversation. There are a lot of fascinating people out there but, if you don’t agree with someone, telling or showing them so is not going to get you anywhere – indeed, you may both come away feeling more negative. Treat everyone as if they have something very important to say.

Try it yourself. Take the time to make people feel important and you be seen as an excellent conversationalist, hugely intelligent and you will make friends wherever you go. Life will be that much more fun.

Of course, this is the basis of that wonderful book, ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’ by Dale Carnegie:

 

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”

Dale Carnegie

 

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Inspiration Message: Dealing With Negative Thoughts

 
 
No matter what inspiration message we feed into our minds, if we accept rival negative thoughts then we will not get very far. For every thought that undermines our confidence we need to accept many good thoughts that wash it away.

The first thing is to accept we do have negative thoughts and that they do undermine what we can achieve. This is not as easy as it may seem. Most of us do not recognize the difference between a positive thought and an inspiration message let alone understand the impact they have on our lives. I can list many people in my acquaintance who spout destructive words every day and then cannot understand why they achieve nothing in their lives.
 

Young Handsome Man In Thoughtful Mood Thinking an Inspiration Message

 
One man who understood the effects of bad thoughts on our lives was James Allen. He wrote in his book ‘As A Man Thinketh,’ “Good thoughts and actions can never produce bad results; bad thoughts and actions can never produce good results. This is but saying that nothing can come from corn but corn, nothing from nettles but nettles. Men understand this law in the natural world, and work with it; but few understand it in the mental and moral world (though its operation there is just as simple and undeviating), and they, therefore, do not co-operate with it.”

Our first action is to understand when we have a negative thought. This is any thought that is not an inspiration message and generally takes the form of something like ‘you can’t do that’ or ‘you usually mess that up’ or ‘you are not as good as him.’ We need to pay attention to the way we think or speak about ourselves.

That is not to say we need to tell everyone that we are the greatest person on the planet. I suspect you will soon be unpopular if you did that! No, it is important to give yourself an inspiration message quietly and persistently. Apart from anything else, if others know you are telling yourself you are the best, they will soon find ways to undermine that inspiration message.

There is no such thing as neutral thoughts. If you catch yourself saying something like ‘you are so clumsy’ or ‘you are so stupid,’ you must replace it with an inspiration message like ‘that is very unlike me’ or ‘I am very capable of doing better.’ It seems Nature abhors a vacuum and, if you leave space in your mind, it will quickly fill with a thought, usually negative.

It has been suggested to me that you should always have a set phrase to use when you have a negative thought. One author suggested saying ‘I cancel that’ and immediately substitute an inspiration message but I have used another technique at times: I pretend to take the words from my mouth and throw them away. Another similar suggestion I have heard is to write the negative thought on a piece of paper and physically throw it in the waste bin. Bold gestures like that emphasize the destruction of the useless thought or words.

Then instantly replace the negative statement with a good inspiration message.

Whatever you do, it is important to tell yourself that you are very capable and special and give yourself an inspiration message to back that up.

Why? Because there is no doubt that you are an important and significant individual and capable of great things.

I just want you to believe it.
 

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Self-Talk: We Produce Our Own Words of Motivation

 
 
Many of us look for words of motivation from other people to get us through the day. We might look for inspiring quotations or read words of motivation from a book and yet the most powerful words of motivation we can access are the ones we give ourselves.

Studies have shown what we say to ourselves affects every area of our lives. Indeed, the way we talk to ourselves has an impact on our physical well-being: evidence shows positive self-talk leads to reduced depression, resistance to illnesses such as the common cold, better cardiovascular health, less stress and a longer life. Talking to yourself tends to produce a healthy and positive lifestyle too, with a better diet, more exercise and a reduced likelihood of smoking or drinking to excess.
 

Incredibly Beautiful Brunette in Red Dress Thinking Words of Motivation With Arm Behind Her Head

 
At this stage you may be thinking, ‘what are you talking about? Only mad people talk to themselves.’ The voice in your head that just said that is what we are talking about. Self-talk does not require you to talk out loud (although in private it is not such a bad idea) but it is simply what you tell yourself in your thoughts.

To achieve what you want in life, you need to ensure your thoughts about yourself are as positive as possible. When someone tells you something you may or may not believe it, depending on your opinion of the person involved or how often he or she tells you, but the opinion you have of yourself is accepted without question.

Imagine you had an imaginary grumpy old man following you around all day, every day whispering comments in your ear. He says things like ‘you’re an idiot,’ ‘you can’t do that,’ ‘remember how you got that wrong last time you tried?’ How would you feel after hearing this for a week, a month or a year? You would start to believe what he said.

This is how it is with self-talk: you cannot get away from it so you need to change what you hear to wholesome words of motivation.

If you hear something enough times, you start to believe it: after all, this is how governments employ propaganda and they know it works. The most extreme example is the hatred of the Jews manufactured by the Nazi party in Germany in the 1930’s but even today campaigns such as ‘Speed Kills’ use the same method even where solid evidence shows otherwise.

The truth is we can use propaganda for good by changing our self-talk into words of motivation.

It takes persistence and work: but it is worth doing.

I have to say I have struggled with this myself in the past, but that does not mean I cannot get it right in the future.

One area self-talk is employed with great success is in sport. Frequently the difference between winning and losing is not talent but mental abilities, especially self-talk.

As explained in the fascinating book, Mind Games, athlete Sally Gunnell stood on the line for the 1992 Olympic 400 metre hurdles in Barcelona. She says, “I’d been constantly saying to myself, ‘You can do this. You have done everything right. You’ve eaten well. You’ve done every training session possible. You’ve not been injured. You are 100%.’ Just before they said ‘On your marks’ something inside me said, ‘This is it. This is your race. You can do this’ and I really believed in those final seconds that I was going to win.” Those words of motivation won Sally the gold medal.
 


 

In the computer industry there has always been a useful slogan ‘Garbage In, Garbage Out.’ In other words, what comes out is a product of what you put in.

In his book, You Can Change Your Life Any Time You Want, Robin Sieger makes this point: “There is a cruel irony that we will give positive encouragement and advice to our friends as they embark on a life change, or personal challenges, yet beat ourselves up for small failings and continually give ourselves negative self-talk.”

Make sure that you become your own best supporter and provide your own words of motivation.
 

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Inspirational Messages For Life Produce The Quiet Man

 
 
It is one of those misconceptions that loud, brash people must be the most confident. We often believe they have absorbed all the inspirational messages for life and can deal with all that happens to them. Interestingly the opposite can be true.

Having a good attitude does not mean we have to be outgoing and loud. In my experience, those who are loud and dominant need inspirational messages for life and those who have the best attitude are the quiet men and women who have nothing to prove.

Such people are in control and can approach life with a calm, unruffled manner.
 

Older Man In Black Top Looking Across Wheatfield

 

Those who are keen to tell the world they are confident and assertive are actually insecure and have to persuade themselves, and others, they are really in control. They can have difficult relationships and cause ripples wherever they go.

The truly confident person accepts him or herself. There is no need to tell everyone as calm confidence projects itself as what we call ‘charisma.’ Nonetheless, the confident person seeks out continual self-improvement, understanding that we all need a constant stream of inspirational messages for life: learning is a constant never-ending process.

The author James Allen was one person who really understood quiet confidence, writing “The calm man, having learned how to govern himself, knows how to adapt himself to others; and they, in turn, reverence his spiritual strength, and feel that they can learn of him and rely upon him. The more tranquil a man becomes, the greater is his success, his influence, his power for good.”

The world of mountaineering and exploration seems to produce quiet men and women and I feel lucky to have met a few. People with such confidence draw others to them in a way that loud people do not. Examples of such people I can name are Sir Ranulph Fiennes, Bear Grylls and Sir Chris Bonnington.

Martial arts masters also understand the power of the quiet confident person: Master T.T. Liang, wrote in his book on T’ai Chi Chuan, “When the mind can be maintained firmly, then a calm unperturbedness can be attained; and to that calmness there will succeed a tranquil repose of the spirit of vitality.”

Those who are quiet take time to learn the inspirational messages for life. They have learned about themselves and the life they lead.

If you are looking for a confident person to learn inspirational messages for life from and follow, make sure you find a man or woman with this quiet confidence.

Then aspire to attain the same state yourself.
 

“In the words of a wise man there is great power, but his silence is more powerful still”.

James Allen

 

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Our Progress Depends on Our Attitude Thoughts

 
We have a dream and we have set our goals. It would seem we are well on our way to achieving the life of our dreams. There is an element of self-improvement however that we have to get right or we will live a life of frustration: we need to ensure our attitude thoughts are such that success is almost inevitable.

So much in life is affected by the way we think about things. Our attitude thoughts in a certain situation can improve or destroy our chances of overcoming challenges.

A belief in yourself and your ability to overcome is essential. Our positive attitude thoughts are key to success in any field. Many people think mental attitude is so much mumbo-jumbo and really has no place in the real world but generally those same people lead lives of frustration and failed ambitions.

Sport gives us great examples of great attitude thoughts. Champion golfer Nick Faldo gives us an example: “I said, ‘Excuse me, I’m going to be a pro golfer.’ They said, ‘No, no, only one in two thousand or ten thousand makes it.’ So I said, ‘Fine. I’m the one.’ I had that level of self-commitment.”
 

Young Parkour Enthusiast Holding His Arms Out As He Jumps

 
Success in sport is as dependent on mental attitude as anything else. Watch a professional tennis star play at Wimbledon and you can see the mental side of the sport in stark exposure.

I cannot say I have ever been at the highest level of any sport but over a period of years I lead hill-walking expeditions and there was always a need to believe in your ability to reach the next summit. Mental discipline is as important and is indeed a great part of physical discipline.

In the vast majority of cases, people fail not because they do not have talent or ability but because they do not believe they can succeed. We all need to break out of our comfort zones at some stage in our lives and, once we do, our attitude thoughts improve considerably. With every new success we achieve, we come to believe in ourselves a little bit more.

The truth is we can all achieve what we want in life if we would only believe we can.
 

“Belief is the basis of all action, and this being so, the belief which dominates the heart or mind is shown in the life. Every man acts, thinks, lives in exact accordance with the belief which is rooted in his innermost being.”

James Allen

 

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Exercise and Self Help Development

 
 
To improve our self help development we need to gain control of our minds and the influences that affect it. Rarely however is a parallel drawn between regular exercise and our self help development.

Mental health charities have long understood that good, regular exercise has a beneficial effect on our attitude. Studies, such as the one undertaken by Kings College, London and the University of Bergen, show that people who spend time in regular moderate physical activity are less prone to mental health issues.

We all know that physical exercise releases feel-good endorphins into the body and these natural stimulants give us a healthy high but research also shows exercise can have a greater influence on our self help development. Attitude can be much improved by regular exercise but it is not entirely clear why this might be.

Nonetheless the results are clear; those who exercise regularly have a better attitude in general. It could be that we start to feel better about the way we look as we lose weight and our body operates more effectively and, as exercise helps us sleep better and encourages better oxygen distribution, we will become more alert and able to make good decisions.
 

Cyclist With Bag Riding With Ancient Spires Behind

 
What type of exercise works best on our self help development?

Since one of the obstacles to exercising regularly is getting into the habit, the best exercise for you is the one you enjoy. Nonetheless, you do not have to run a marathon to get the activity you need. A good walk or regular cycling or swimming will give you the exercise you need. And you can fit it into your normal routine too.

Stop using the car for short journeys and get into the habit of walking and cycling to your destination instead. Travel to work on foot or on a bicycle. If you do need to take the car, park at the far end of the supermarket car park, if shopping, or in a car park further away and walk in. If you take public transport, get off a stop earlier and walk the rest of the way.

If you can, take your exercise in the countryside as this will further enhance your mood and improve your self help development.

Find exercise in your daily routine in other ways too: gardening can provide a good workout, as can vigorous housework or do it yourself projects.

Local clubs and facilities offer a great variety of activities too. Find out what is in your area and try something. Swimming is great and joining a group activity will have social benefits too: you may make new friends who will support you in getting the exercise you need.

Particularly good ways of improving your self help development through activity exist in the form of martial arts (particularly ta’i chi), yoga or Pilates. Such activities help you understand and love your body. My experience has been in the area of martial arts and you really can feel how your body operates: In this way you come to realise how the human body is an amazing mechanism. Activities of this type can be particularly useful as they often include philosophies that compliment the pursuit of self help development.

Getting regular exercise can provide a type of moving meditation as well as making you feel better about yourself. I believe this gives you a great foundation from which to improve your self help development and your life.

 

“If a man achieves victory over this body, who in the world can exercise power over him? He who rules himself rules over the whole world.”
 

Vinoba Bhave
 
 

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Words of Motivation: 5 Tips to Start Every Day Right

 
 

Man in Bed Looking Unhappy at Having to Get Up

 
It is all very well cramming our minds full of inspiration messages so we can find success in our lives, but it is what we do every day that determines whether we find the life we want or not.

We can read all the words of motivation we want but if we do not wake up in the morning and start taking action then it is all wasted. For this reason, I believe our early morning routines are essential to self-development.

What we do as soon as we awake in the morning sets the mood for the whole day. Our minds wake up ready for suggestion so I feel we have an opportunity every day to set ourselves up for success.

Author James Allen was a great believer in getting the start of the day right. In his collection of essays entitled ‘Byways of Blessedness’, Allen wrote: “You will find that much happiness or unhappiness follows upon the right or wrong beginning of the day, and that, when every day is wisely begun, happy and harmonious sequences will mark its course, and life in its totality will not fall far short of the ideal blessedness.”

We all react in different ways to the first hours of the day but I believe there are some words of motivation and general guidelines to help you set your mood for the day ahead.

1. Get enough sleep.

Logically your routine the night before will help how you wake up the next day. You can prepare for a good day by getting a full nights sleep.

It is always worth getting to bed a little earlier to ensure you get the relaxed sleep your body demands. As you rest, your body repairs itself and any growing takes place so treat yourself to a good sleep.

In general terms it is worth having a relaxing warm bath before bed. Read a good book: avoid watching television or using the computer too close to your bedtime as this will stimulate your mind too much. Listen to relaxing music as you climb into bed too: this will also help your mind wind down. Hearing words of motivation at this time will also help.

If you need to get up earlier in the morning, go to bed sooner.

2. Set your mind straight.

As your mind is receptive first thing, take advantage, get out of bed and spend a few minutes in quiet thought. Perhaps read a few words of motivation from a book and meditate for a while. This would be a great time to practise visualizing a successful day and the life you want to achieve; repeating words of motivation and affirmation early in the morning also have the most impact.

Some authors suggest spending time listing the things in life for which you feel gratitude, such as health and family, so this would be a great time to do this too.
 

Beautiful Misty River at Dawn

 
3. Exercise.

In some cities, the sight of individuals practising Tai Chi early morning in the park is quite common; gentle exercise is a great way to loosen up the body (especially if you are older) and it make you feel good and ready to face the day. There is also a certain smug feeling that feeling healthy first thing gives you!

The type of exercise you do is entirely up to you but Tai Chi and Yoga are popular. Teachers of these two disciplines tell us that a set of morning exercises will wake you up and prepare you like nothing else. Another favourite is a short run.

But my personal choice is to go for a cycle ride and, about halfway round, stop in a peaceful green place and practice a series of Tai Chi exercises. Perfect.

4. Breakfast.

So many of us are in such a rush to get out of the door in the morning that we skip breakfast altogether. And yet that first meal is as important as any words of motivation.

First thing in the morning your body is like a hedgehog coming out of hibernation: all the growing and repairs have taken place and now you need nutrition to face the day ahead. Eating a good meal now provides the energy you need.

Studies show those who eat a good breakfast are less prone to conditions related to obesity and have improved mental functions throughout the day.

Take a look at HealthyEating.sfgate.com for more information on the benefits of eating breakfast.

5. Fresh Air.

Getting outside in all weathers in the morning helps your feeling of well being.

Taking your exercise outside gives you the opportunity to reflect on the words of motivation you may have already read. In any case, particularly if you can get out into a natural environment, a few minutes in the fresh air outside will help your well being: sufferers of depression are often encouraged to get out and experience the world around them. This can be especially beneficial if you spend most of your time indoors during the day.

The ideal situation is cycling or walking to work when you can get fresh air, exercise and tranquil time before you start your day.

At one stage I was working shifts that meant I had to start in an office around dawn. I was very fortunate to cycle to work across fields and a nature reserve and witness the beauty of the sun rising. It made my day so much better.

James Allen would walk up to the headland above his home every morning before he started writing his philosophical works.

Conclusion

Each person will find a different morning routine will suit them: nonetheless the above pointers will help find the right way.

Experiment with what works best for you and, once you find the ideal morning start, use it every morning. You will find it will set you up for the day as much as any words of motivation.

And you will feel happier, be healthier and perform better. The life you dream about is more likely to be yours as a result.
 

“The character of the whole day depends on the way it is begun.”

James Allen
 
 

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